Written June 26th, 45 minutes before my FIP matchup
It’s always the most excruciating time.
Noise all around, but eerie silence in my mind. Anticipation builds as minutes peel away like hours until my match.
The butterflies flutter free in my stomach. I welcome them. They remind me just how human and how alive I can feel. There’s nothing I love more than sharing my soul between 4 sets of ropes for a hot crowd. The moment I step through the curtain, silence is not an option. My senses will be bombarded from the crowd, my opponent, even my own mind as I try to act on my next move.
It could be Full Impact Pro, CHIKARA, or some spot show in the middle of nowhere. The feeling never changes and the thoughts are still the same as I wait.
What would I be doing if I wasn’t here?
Will I walk away under my own power?
Is the sacrifice worth it?
Being miserable; I’ll pray for it; and YES respectively to those questions.
This is what I do. It’s all I’ve ever dreamed of since I was a kid. Every show is a reminder that you can’t have impossible without POSSIBLE. The fear of my body failing me or the crowd not feeling me subsides. My heart races with life knowing the minutes draw closer.
Tonight will be a good night. As long as it’s between those ropes, how could it not be?