Ever get that feeling like you’ve been doing so much; yet there’s so much more to do?
I feel so restless and as happy as I am about all I’ve been given, call me greedy, I’m wanting just that bit more. But why beat yourself down and commit so much if you don’t want it all to the last drop? It’s deadly to rest on your laurels in this business, because the demands and needs constantly change and those who refuse to evolve usually find themselves finished.
You’ll have conversations with your peers to tell you to “keep doing what you always do”. That makes sense if you wanna get what you’ve always gotten.
Color me ambitious if not brown.
Now for those of you who were tuned in on my Twitter account (www.twitter.com/sugardunkerton or look over at that nifty Twitter timeline to the right over there); you may have caught me in the middle of a psuedo-rant about Matthew Hardy, the poster boy for all that is emo about the wrestling business. I am a fan of his work and respect what he’s done and what he may continue to do in this business, but geez…get over it. His usage of Twitter and Youtube has taken unprofessional to new heights and more than anything, he’s LOST fans and looks ungrateful to his peers. There are many that’d kill for 1/4th of what he’s done and I’d hope he’d be more mindful of that in the future. A scientific calculator couldn’t count how many people would kill for his spot and be pleased with it.
Now on the subject of that 1/4th….I can remember a time where the places I’ve seen and I’m preparing to do weren’t possible. North Georgia seemed like the high point of my career and now I’ve put my time in the ECW Arena, I’ve earned a place with CHIKARA, I’ll be going overseas next month. I could take all of that and settle. Call it a career and be pleased….
….but something is telling me to lace em’ up a bit tighter. Work a bit harder. Shine a bit brighter in that spotlight. There’s more to be had and it’s about WANTING IT. That’s true in anything is it not? I can’t make any promises that I’ll be on NXT 8 as Rufus “Slam” Duncan anytime soon (DA RUF’ IS ON FIYAH!!!); and I’ll probably hear a million reasons why I’ll never go any further then what I have now, the same way I got told I wouldn’t have more than what I had 4 years ago.
Not big enough. Too gimmicky. Can only do one style. Not in the right place.
I’m sure new reasons will come up as to why it can’t be done and how I should just “do what I’ve been doing”. Sorry, just can’t do that. I’m gonna dedicate myself to learning, improving, becoming complete, and being a credit to this business. If I don’t make it, it won’t be from a lack of trying and I promise you that. Something has been lit in me since my Young Lion’s Cup clash with Christian Abel (All 3 nights now available at www.smartmarkvideo.com by the by. -hint hint-) that I couldn’t pinpoint until I got up from my defeat.
CHIKARA is at this point in time, the biggest stage I wrestle on and is such a personal dream to be apart of because I’ve been a fan of what they do and what they represent for so long. The Private Eye days, man! Every outing is a pressure session for me and that match was one where if things went wrong, there was no tag out to Dasher. What happened from the first bell to the last one was on me and if I could deliver.
I just remember pushing myself up from the canvas and hearing 1 clap turn to 5…to 20…to the crowd showing me a real love. The nod that maybe, I’m not doing all this hard charging for nothing. You evolved me with one grand gesture and dared me to climb this ladder, if not a few rungs more.
And I will.
I don’t know where I’ll end up or how this all turns out for me, but will you take that journey with me? Every faithful reader of this blog, tweeter, and fan…will you hold me up if I think I’m going to fall? Will you talk to me like Gail (@hoobagail on Twitter) and remind me how great people can be? Or Matt (@Mattawesum on Twitter) and loudly support me for the world to know? Or Emily (@mizmouse on Twitter) and affirm what I need to know about myself when I need to hear it?
Point blank, for the things I want to do next, I need you. This isn’t pandering and it’s as real as I can get in plain text. I need you to believe in the back of your mind, no matter how small, that I’ll soar.
I’ll make you this promise. Believe in me and I’ll give you a reason to. Your investment is my return. Fair enough?
APW, I’ll see you this Friday.
Platinum Championship Wrestling, you’ve been finding out the score for the past few Tuesdays. So let’s set it off at your big stage this Saturday….
And to the rest of you, I imagine it’ll be sooner before later 🙂 I promise I’ll try to write more, but if I’m keeping busy, I suppose it’s a valid excuse.
Miss me a little will ya?