Tag Archives: crunk

“IS THAT A GOOD THING?!’ – CM Punk

CM Punk.

Punk wins the WWE championship; setting off one of the most exciting eras in WWE history.

The talk of the wrestling world. Our -Howard Finkel voice- NEEEEEEEEEEEEEW Unemployed WWE Champion. Now I could bite other blogs and get into such things as….

-How awesome this was.

-Fantasy booking.

-Where we go from here.

But I’m not. There’s plenty of that to go around across the bevy of news sites, forums, and social networks you frequent. Besides, for those of us who followed his career from the days of Steel Domain, IWA-Mid South, ROH, etc….we knew a star when we saw one.

It wasn’t a question of if he could run with the main event slot, it was all a matter of if the big leagues would let him. And it just feels plain good to see that happen for such a hard worker and genuine star.

So in a change of pace, I’d like to share a story that’ll always stick out to me about CM Punk. I’ve never had the pleasure of meeting the man; but I get the sense from stories I’m told about him and his sheer humility in terms of his stature in the business, despite having the right to feel himself even a little bit, that I’d like him just fine.

Also, I need you to remember this word and definition.

crunk/krəNGk/Adjective: (of a person) Very excited or full of energy.

I’m sure you’ve heard this expression in terms of rap music, Dirty South slang, and the fact it was a generally popular term around the time period I’m about to discuss. I was an avid fan of it myself. This word will come into play later 🙂

I’d like you all to jump in the Wayback Machine with me to December 3, 2006….Augusta, GA…the James Brown Arena. Yes, that’s right…the “pay per view of which we do not speak”…

Augusta, GA FINALLY gets a PPV and it goes down as one of the worst ones ever. Figures.

ECW December to Dismember.  -LIGHTNING STRIKES, THUNDER ROLLS, BABIES CRY, LEBRON’S HAIRLINE REAPPEARS-
 
-Strange look-
 
Really? All that because I said….ECW December to Dismember?
 
-LIGHTNING STRIKES, THUNDER ROLLS, BABIES CRY, REBECCA BLACK DROPS ANOTHER SINGLE-
 
-Shudders-
 
Okay, I’m not testing fate anymore. But yes, there was a time that Augustians were actually EXCITED to see this pay-per-view. It also just so happened me and my best friend, Dantae Robertson, nabbed two tickets in some pretty swank seats for the event. Our suspicions were high on the possible sucktitude of this show, but everything is more fun when you’re not paying for it! So we hopped in the Impala and headed on down to the newly renamed James Brown Arena to check out the ECW brand’s first pay-per-view under WWE.
 
At this time, I’d been in the business a few years (way before I’d make any kind of real accounting for myself in the ring and WAY before a certain afro and basketball got introed into my life) and Danny always hit me up about information about indy wrestlers and wrestlers he didn’t know about. I’ve earned the nickname via Murder One (Of Rampage Pro and UWF fame. Hit him up at @MurderOne and tell him you’re looking for “FINE CHINA, babaloo.” :p ) of Computron 5000 due to my deep knowledge of all things wrestling. So it was only natural he’d ask me, “Who is CM Punk?”.
 
I swear, he got an education that car ride. Punk was the main reason I watched ECW and was who I would have paid to see going into this show. He gave me faith that the indy star could get to the big leagues and still retain the aspects that made him special. Not only that, but he got to main event this show in the Extreme Elimination Chamber. Surely this’d be his breakout night tonight, right? Bottom line, when I gave Danny the rundown, I wasn’t just rattling off info. I needed him to understand that Punk was a revolution waiting to happen and that the next star was in the making. I knew this because it had already been on display numerous times.
 
“Is he like the Rock?”
 
“No.”
 
“HBK.”
 
“Naw man.”
 
“Then how would you describe him?”
 
“He’s his own thing, dude. An original. Man….Punk is Crunk.”
 
It was the best i could do to describe him at the time. And the fact that I couldn’t make comparisons intrigued Danny, because he’d have to see him at work himself.
 
Fast forward some hours later; we’re in our seats and strangely geeked up for two guys that had sat through what guys around us called a “glorified house show”. But again, no money out our pockets; so we were having fun for what it was.
 
Finally, the main event came. Killswitch Engage thundered over the speakers and the arena came alive for this tattooed anti-thesis of everything WWE was pushing at the time. And it was awesome. The Augusta crowd received him quite well and for me, it was no ROH show with side banners to slap to the drum beat of “Miseria Cantare”; but it was close enough. Was finally gonna get to see him do work live and it was just a great feeling. Then it got even better; he entered the ring to take his place in one of the chamber pods….
 
…the chamber pod right next to our section on the floor.
 
I couldn’t resist. Now, I was fortunate to have been in a section with some good-hearted folk that didn’t mind some crazy chants throughout the night. So it had to be done. I had to see if I could get away with it.
 
“Punk-is-crunk….Punk-is-crunk….”
 
Soon a few voices joined along, and eventually, our section was loud enough in the chant to catch his ear.
 
“PUNK IS CRUNK! PUNK IS CRUNK!”
 
What happened next completely threw me off guard, but showed me the kind of cat he was. It lead to a story I’d tell for fun which I’m now sharing with you guys.
 
Punk proceeded to turn around in his chamber, which struck me as odd given I thought the average guy would be immersed in the “big match situation” he was currently in. Regardless, he turned to our section; listening through the chamber pod at our chant. He then tapped the glass to get our attention, the tap as effective as a mute button.
 
CM PUNK: “IS THAT A GOOD THING?!”
 
US: “YEEEEEEEEA!!!”
 
CM PUNK: -Cheshire cat grin and a thumbs up- “OKAY!”
 
He then egged us on to chant it more and we gladly obliged him as loudly and strongly as we could. In the midst of me starting the chant, I failed to realize that he may have NEVER heard the term “crunk” before in his lifetime. So I’d like to think he was educated that night :p
 
Most of all, I hope he realizes that taking the word “crunk” for the base meaning…CM Punk is exactly that. A lot of people enjoy him and admire him for different reasons. I think I do because he’s accomplished the extraordinary, but has remained humble in thought and action even when he sits atop the throne. In all my years of watching wrestling and being apart of it, you’ll have many constantly speak at the highest of their lungs how great they are. How good they are.
 
Real power, is when the people KNOW you are; without any words being spoken. I’m proud to have lived in a time where this has finally been displayed.
 
“Therefore the Master
acts without doing anything
and teaches without saying anything.
Things arise and he lets them come;
things disappear and he lets them go.
He has but doesn’t possess,
acts but doesn’t expect.
When his work is done, he forgets it.
That is why it lasts forever.” – Lao Tzu

-Dunks

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You Shining Wizard’ed a WHAT?!

You know what my blog has been missing?

Embarrassing stories!

Every good wrestler has their share of funny stories and anecdotes and I figure why not share an especially funny one of mine. This blog has allowed me to let you guys in even deeper; so it’s only fair I share something that I’m often clowned on in my stomping ground of Georgia.

Allow me to set the scene.

image

I was not always the Chocolate Ice Cream Dream that you all know and love. There was a LOT of construction to build the super highway of slam dunkin’ that I’m cruising on.

I digress, this is a tale about a 22 year old wrestler from the Georgia independents by the name of…..

Wait for it…..

It gets good……

CAPTAIN CRUNK CARL WILSON.

-Pause for laughter, head shakes, blank stares-

It was a different time in my life. -holds head down sheepishly-

 I had no idea what service I was apart of to obtain the title of captain with all this crunkness; but hey, this was actually my NON-WACKEST gimmick for the timeframe. (Oh how bad the gimmick train was…..)

Believe it or not, I was on my 5TH year of wrestling around that time. I make it no secret that my initial training was quite poor. (Which is why I STRESS listening to veterans and making sure to seek reputable training when you start. I was fortunate to have good mentors to fix my mistakes as I traveled, but my career could have gone to the wayside if not for that.) I had tools, but lacked the knowledge and savvy to put them all together and make it a package worth seeing. Around this time, I was trying to find work with quality companies, failing to realize I lacked the qualities to hang in those companies.

I lucked out when I got an opportunity to do some ring work with Pro Wrestling Evolution; a Georgia company that had concepts way ahead of it’s time for the Georgia area. First Georgia company to bring in Low-Ki, heavy emphasis on stat tracking for contention, strong style matchups that were foreign to our area, and making heavy usage of the internet for a television product.

pwe

Pro Wrestling Evolution banner featuring Kory "Rainman" Chavis, Iceberg, Tank, and Murder-1.

The talent level was off the charts and I was getting my chance to work the undercards, learning as I went and really having to step my game up as I went along. It was a challenge because my psychology or reasoning for moves wasn’t always there and it seemed like the talent was head and shoulders above me in the ring work. I’m just fortunate people connected with me; which really saved my a** more times than I could count until my ring savvy caught up.

Now that the setting and stakes have been explained, lets discuss the scenario shall we? Young Captain Crunk gets his first big match against heel extraordinaire and all around classy cat, Simon Sermon, now a member of the Exotic Ones. I’d like to personally say that Sermon is a gem of the Georgia scene and can tell stories with simple actions. If territories existed, he’d pack houses just to see his downfall. And I’m not just saying that because he put me through a window. :p (One embarrassing story at a time guys.)

The venue was the Waleska Ballfield in Waleska, GA. I’d say there were about 300-350 fans in attendance and the show was off to a hot start. Now check this, remember the mechanical rings that used to carry the wrestlers down to the ring at Wrestlemania 3? Smooth right? Well when you’re in the South and don’t have a Vince budget, replace “mechanical ring” with “F150 truck”.

Yeehaw.

So the whole gimmick was that the wrestler would hop in the truck bed and get driven from the fieldhouse to the actual field, where the ring was setup, then they make that walk to the ring. This seemed to work well for everyone involved. All but one.

For the true narrative effect, I shall now switch to my novel style mode as I tell this story. -AHEM-

The opening lyrics from “Lose Yourself” were being reenacted at a ballfield in Waleska, GA. Conversation, laughter, and shouting buzzed around him; but his mind muted all distractions. Only the match mattered. For months, he wondered if he belonged within the ranks of this locker room. It was filled to the brim with wrestlers who didn’t even flinch at big match situations, let alone the last match before intermission in front of 350 people.

Their molehill, his mountain. He concealed nervousness with constant action.

Checking his kickpads. Straightening the Kill Bill themed singlet he was so proud of. Hopping in place to stay warmed up. Captain Crunk Carl Wilson had yet to have his defining moment in Georgia. 5 years of “it was alright” and “you just dont get it”, but never THAT MATCH. The one that gets fans talking and promoters on the phone.

Was tonight the night? If it wasn’t, it wouldn’t be from lack of trying.

The wall of silence had been toppled like the Berlin Wall as “What You Know About That?” by TI thundered through the night air. His eyes lit up, knowing he’d never feel more alive than when he stepped through those ropes. He exited the fieldhouse, “good lucks” buzzing by his ear when he wasn’t met with indifference. Those unconcerned with him didn’t stir Carl a bit. They’d know his name next time; he was sure of it.

Nitrous coursed through his veins, the cool air caressing his skin. A field of green was the only thing separating him from the “Ford Tough” chariot that awaited. His insecurities fled and boldness took over. He felt what Phil Collins must have been talking about in the air and now was the time to prove.

Instead of a careful walk, he burst into a sprint. The joy on his face was obvious as he shredded through the air on foot. The 3 1/2 hour drive, haggling with his manager to get a few hours off, and low pay was all worth it for THIS moment.

HIS moment….

….that ended in sheer disaster.

What our young warrior failed to realize is that there was a slight dip in the field just before the truck. Mere steps from the hopping entrance into the truck he envisioned making, his foot fell into this dip of man made design….perhaps destined to make a fool of someone for so long and finally getting the opportunity this night.

Cause I mean, seriously? WHO PUTS A DIP RIGHT THERE IN A MIDDLE OF A FIELD?! I got words for that groundskeeper! Oh, sorry. Messing up the narrative. -Ahem-

His foot slipped into the abyss, the motion he made downward echoing being caught with a expertly executed drop toehold. However, most drop toeholds end with mat…this ended with the our protagonist slamming face first into the side of a F150 Truck bed.

Hard. Like The Rock giving Mick Foley a chair shot hard.

He fell over, pain shooting to his head. His pride would be soon to follow in that pain as a locker room of seasoned veterans, future stars, and influential figures let out a combined roar of laughter. He tried to mute them; but their strength was undeniable. Echoing and echoing.

“Get up stupid. You’re okay.”

The Captain shot up quickly. It can’t get any worse.

-WHAM!-

Yes it could.

Worse was in the form of slamming the BACK of his head into the bottom of the truck bed, our disoriented subject failing to realize he was still under it as he recovered.

The second wave of laughter flooded him with Katrina-like proportions. Defeated, Captain Crunk held his head in a mixture of pain and disgrace as he weakly deposited himself in the truck bed. This new remix of TI’s popular song had an underscore of mixed laughter as he was chauffeured to his destiny that night.

Be careful when you make wishes to be remembered. Sometimes, they come true. Not a soul forgot the day Captain Crunk attempted to Shining Wizard a truck and failed.

No way he’d become a star.  Right?

—-

“Remember when you Shining Wizarded a truck?” – Random guys after that incident.

I get ribbed about that moment to THIS day when I’m in Georgia and I thought I’d share this with the rest of you. Not only because it’s a funny story that now has been told in a SWEET novel style; but with the right kind of dedication and shot, ANYBODY could be somebody. Never write anyone off.

Hope you had a laugh and perhaps you’ve learned a little something about me. I’ll leave the wizard’s to Muta 🙂

Later days

– DUNKS

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